%PDF-1.7 1 0 obj << /Type /Catalog /Outlines 2 0 R /Pages 3 0 R >> endobj 2 0 obj << /Type /Outlines /Count 0 >> endobj 3 0 obj << /Type /Pages /Kids [6 0 R 19 0 R ] /Count 2 /Resources << /ProcSet 4 0 R /Font << /F1 8 0 R /F2 9 0 R /F3 10 0 R /F4 11 0 R /F5 12 0 R /F6 14 0 R >> /XObject << /I1 15 0 R /I2 16 0 R /I3 23 0 R /I4 24 0 R >> /ExtGState << /GS1 17 0 R /GS2 18 0 R /GS3 21 0 R /GS4 22 0 R >> >> /MediaBox [0.000 0.000 612.000 792.000] >> endobj 4 0 obj [/PDF /Text /ImageC ] endobj 5 0 obj << /Producer (dompdf 1.0.2 + CPDF) /CreationDate (D:20241018044834+00'00') /ModDate (D:20241018044834+00'00') >> endobj 6 0 obj << /Type /Page /MediaBox [0.000 0.000 612.000 792.000] /Parent 3 0 R /Contents 7 0 R >> endobj 7 0 obj << /Filter /FlateDecode /Length 1752 >> stream xWێ6}WLn;/Eyh@KD]ZWlw{zSkyf8s 88/(+MZEY.)YG1]~}z:FbEK+otZ=T/:QLb/IT}:$*q{3gRǯP(-x6YQ(6 8}a`9.7j\faϻw~7,0tm'zm YQKտ#D:%靁jeOjcV|4tWr>F[%m}"ma쩛U{I/C*Z6&W1$@lo::~Tl'Z~T!^l(MFullג'Јl#,}z(+CVXoԡ7g^w5#6`!26i@gɌ(p@=17M0be(ʠƵm jt/!$PLBij0~ F!C$0Q-ނ0?6e('ahYS%޶\3x.ȒP 4>.]rBqA![B`GY繇\.!u4Q0kiA$,Z:'fTM[Nr[wMsAw,@B9/k2Jc p;3k\:^pTx1"ϝ$\PKC>-J#YhƝQ5ql7(~} Y!Dŧ U77BuY(ڱzh N?\>'Ҿ[K!˞~"ˮYzK\.Be!VyAQ^ +PNQ |l6XTK(qm[12{$ej\ av3L v6 =-WLBy8F*2T-%p*A%LUTIWpG, NX<6ʠ\ewoܿP~!5xjܨ5An o=\q* A܈خ#̴R9"{DuNBaXZ;{&'rDo\WچBվ!KRK߁i6o4wtM†0E);.=gJ <'63gf伥htº}ū˄)T6M,[Qsmhr9 $/ endstream endobj 8 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F1 /BaseFont /Helvetica /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 9 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F2 /BaseFont /Times-Bold /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 10 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F3 /BaseFont /Times-Roman /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 11 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F4 /BaseFont /Helvetica-Bold /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 12 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F5 /BaseFont /Helvetica-Oblique /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 13 0 obj [6 0 R /Fit] endobj 14 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F6 /BaseFont /Times-Roman /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 15 0 obj << /Type /XObject /Subtype /Image /Width 550 /Height 140 /Filter /FlateDecode /DecodeParms << /Predictor 15 /Colors 1 /Columns 550 /BitsPerComponent 8>> /ColorSpace /DeviceGray /BitsPerComponent 8 /Length 5329>> stream xqDǯ뺒$ILfff&I335Lf2\3I2L&_3$3I$d+$\W=9y9lLss99P`0 `0 `0 `0 !U_:~u = F~sZŻدns⃪Qg¢G(F[-s͓^ DZ>d>3Dr#\OΉ, ZFwjux<;4Ƀxز#_v?nO<|{7c(b{Oū}w[N e~Hs䎷wwOn<1B.k+%U=eԘ -mCj)t:}c'ϓ*n"-ovkZ?R"V%wʶ7s]eX&eǕq` 1-2e JYHCFOUam 7:(Ԙt_@ހN t{B~ :V@}o#7!z^&zFL:ʤn X<- %"bNWqF c` M'4?cH-V`ǵAF>=#Ěm75dB I&7E5<>-͏їFǿl3M6x]Y&)2 FoΌ N.<t i4wL\^=_|Fo؏IȄ ik$ɄL?{?|tmCޮ=~T&iTevϷ'奔s?EꋄLPY͹箵?@L:Aˤ3y_:9AtA*0qVe- e6g)%a}.qKcI V/xʤzM|\ HSql0;*%+Mذ-闛obebu2iU&lLbtIcxb5^B#8 ޮaʻ _ w>j+L:$"&O;bZ K1 jmU玫ݢ=S/J<WO2'_yUPvp=`"aL5 Nl7"rlQT޼==-I[Se* F'(\`󴯉'{:נnVZ TG6*r$Tyx^LJū.C<3` %ANrxUo"˄ 0&$tO F&bIcW3GG͈ y!{m,LkCI d,(2"@ dR%F1thUL8Rݒ^+v9^?sʯYעDl~Qd" N2sc|ov}=F,3K#vxIvG^,[OM&wI[#,Jޙ\ض;L^fv[LbyYvM#/EI#/Zס$(ڼ ," &LK/IF i-Zx彰픢]MKeR n(PhV'LҸ\f$w/ e]"mɷWO߻˱ KerSPe (ӼGMȈ}X?ʍto7ZKl+81_Y&ǡd uʤ1Vw!sQ"/$zNkw(t)2BWQW"˄OXLp:e‡# וzn2F}qlc5ؾ:WH xLz LP:d# Q>(MRېd2Qt$o~R$YR5,-nޜLr_βehd" 2k1lvO X= eC p+[R=jU!֖}_DޟY2 (*wkZQ>Fl̲soR#^u3hhyTԲt.LtD8sk4z4Rbl@zp4hy0Tn\=.fnő Y/:TC9<@fSI$:QR/bq7DfR/ֻn)Vqd"䳽˄GL;ϝRG顼n&%Sv eFv,L"t}I&N> D73]$e)( ;]XhL`kSzJlcC$<)깍h}dr,1ܝRM뭍eMa $?e3f8΍҈&P(x+JU5{I 3 M- ;7|#G9 !\œ&=xp2,L{-`?OW":4uܚEadv ~9q.VdV%UT@73$@W¯B!ݒaVLH:!opr;gAɀiήpfߙR E/IDO*Luf0}{7mfyDxT.g)w5RvHx#Z]&M$ gZUTt+lZqZ_;a&JaG,-JLJDFIcV|:I3nB&;N0Lna=Y_Gl,p5,,kc EKgd;2vt7selT9˸sX޲.6r<1!| L0lTMS1?Xsf cq )KSgBB&׭x. v c@^Yk΀v],E[ɾ QhYyXXC2)g/J@su1ScL, ?C[{V2i͛!סӠ&> 6lu>4Ƕʤ|=12鱧l{^:a/Y%~].26G: p^CZ V&Vedҟ?RrX7d#I]ՕuL1 ?_ /12IEh ̴b<ӯ^e _ϝ䰻^]vy> /ColorSpace /DeviceRGB /BitsPerComponent 8 /Length 873>> stream x1j08-K/)],) &gi+:U̲\"9H!@"9H!@"9H!@eY.Z[p_E{QHKV[/`j%ʒcP,SX4W{7urd5ɱPr:-ֆʇX$$zfZpClbw7z{[]qGlwlGlZiM,ߺ7x}w` L9=3zpWL9 j)ۓB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$e]k` B$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$/؋ endstream endobj 17 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /CA 0.3 >> endobj 18 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /ca 0.3 >> endobj 19 0 obj << /Type /Page /MediaBox [0.000 0.000 612.000 792.000] /Parent 3 0 R /Contents 20 0 R >> endobj 20 0 obj << /Filter /FlateDecode /Length 1933 >> stream xXMs6Wܒ* ->.8/9]czC-mACG SGO#A~TjQ{e͌eKÅ:僧`:%4A_Ewl;#N>/EۇkTX *F`^FŎZa^Ic:1Y*>cJ~2G8VP'| Agu j=OA=Y6^UYf0E[$f]+T`,ikA;-c vڞ͡YT|pZx9(5ӑmbzqD&MwR'qg^;?zVz<;#Ow!GjV9:ҏ`$F,T 8)iwwLQ űET:\Pzlco=V9h`đtA\A +GN1i%Z{#镚.h-m;1(S2)zu8RJD'8Pĺ0ކ y}or"aH<Vu˄ivRBU_i<8ʓAD(:azr^ cުu|K`zc]^QH_rhʺXs?;*#k8Ρ6,ABA|  GGQ߮/kFGgx\bA W\q9,m?I gyт~]=SA]˴䭕2*:0 1+L2\Hq{&/).dWSSD=`So8q5x@sۘEB8J42 cf}rݺ)y_㌤M)GSl%**ҁ- ѵ1%v^5{ÄL؈esm9kݨF}H2W:zX%4,*jezM t{o͏oYl=JsnoAſմ4/K~Q Otjlq_̰f7MFǷ9~pF]?X_yty[KF|S endstream endobj 21 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /CA 1 >> endobj 22 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /ca 1 >> endobj 23 0 obj << /Type /XObject /Subtype /Image /Width 550 /Height 140 /Filter /FlateDecode /DecodeParms << /Predictor 15 /Colors 1 /Columns 550 /BitsPerComponent 8>> /ColorSpace /DeviceGray /BitsPerComponent 8 /Length 5329>> stream xqDǯ뺒$ILfff&I335Lf2\3I2L&_3$3I$d+$\W=9y9lLss99P`0 `0 `0 `0 !U_:~u = F~sZŻدns⃪Qg¢G(F[-s͓^ DZ>d>3Dr#\OΉ, ZFwjux<;4Ƀxز#_v?nO<|{7c(b{Oū}w[N e~Hs䎷wwOn<1B.k+%U=eԘ -mCj)t:}c'ϓ*n"-ovkZ?R"V%wʶ7s]eX&eǕq` 1-2e JYHCFOUam 7:(Ԙt_@ހN t{B~ :V@}o#7!z^&zFL:ʤn X<- %"bNWqF c` M'4?cH-V`ǵAF>=#Ěm75dB I&7E5<>-͏їFǿl3M6x]Y&)2 FoΌ N.<t i4wL\^=_|Fo؏IȄ ik$ɄL?{?|tmCޮ=~T&iTevϷ'奔s?EꋄLPY͹箵?@L:Aˤ3y_:9AtA*0qVe- e6g)%a}.qKcI V/xʤzM|\ HSql0;*%+Mذ-闛obebu2iU&lLbtIcxb5^B#8 ޮaʻ _ w>j+L:$"&O;bZ K1 jmU玫ݢ=S/J<WO2'_yUPvp=`"aL5 Nl7"rlQT޼==-I[Se* F'(\`󴯉'{:נnVZ TG6*r$Tyx^LJū.C<3` %ANrxUo"˄ 0&$tO F&bIcW3GG͈ y!{m,LkCI d,(2"@ dR%F1thUL8Rݒ^+v9^?sʯYעDl~Qd" N2sc|ov}=F,3K#vxIvG^,[OM&wI[#,Jޙ\ض;L^fv[LbyYvM#/EI#/Zס$(ڼ ," &LK/IF i-Zx彰픢]MKeR n(PhV'LҸ\f$w/ e]"mɷWO߻˱ KerSPe (ӼGMȈ}X?ʍto7ZKl+81_Y&ǡd uʤ1Vw!sQ"/$zNkw(t)2BWQW"˄OXLp:e‡# וzn2F}qlc5ؾ:WH xLz LP:d# Q>(MRېd2Qt$o~R$YR5,-nޜLr_βehd" 2k1lvO X= eC p+[R=jU!֖}_DޟY2 (*wkZQ>Fl̲soR#^u3hhyTԲt.LtD8sk4z4Rbl@zp4hy0Tn\=.fnő Y/:TC9<@fSI$:QR/bq7DfR/ֻn)Vqd"䳽˄GL;ϝRG顼n&%Sv eFv,L"t}I&N> D73]$e)( ;]XhL`kSzJlcC$<)깍h}dr,1ܝRM뭍eMa $?e3f8΍҈&P(x+JU5{I 3 M- ;7|#G9 !\œ&=xp2,L{-`?OW":4uܚEadv ~9q.VdV%UT@73$@W¯B!ݒaVLH:!opr;gAɀiήpfߙR E/IDO*Luf0}{7mfyDxT.g)w5RvHx#Z]&M$ gZUTt+lZqZ_;a&JaG,-JLJDFIcV|:I3nB&;N0Lna=Y_Gl,p5,,kc EKgd;2vt7selT9˸sX޲.6r<1!| L0lTMS1?Xsf cq )KSgBB&׭x. v c@^Yk΀v],E[ɾ QhYyXXC2)g/J@su1ScL, ?C[{V2i͛!סӠ&> 6lu>4Ƕʤ|=12鱧l{^:a/Y%~].26G: p^CZ V&Vedҟ?RrX7d#I]ՕuL1 ?_ /12IEh ̴b<ӯ^e _ϝ䰻^]vy> /ColorSpace /DeviceRGB /BitsPerComponent 8 /Length 873>> stream x1j08-K/)],) &gi+:U̲\"9H!@"9H!@"9H!@eY.Z[p_E{QHKV[/`j%ʒcP,SX4W{7urd5ɱPr:-ֆʇX$$zfZpClbw7z{[]qGlwlGlZiM,ߺ7x}w` L9=3zpWL9 j)ۓB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$e]k` B$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$/؋ endstream endobj xref 0 25 0000000000 65535 f 0000000009 00000 n 0000000074 00000 n 0000000120 00000 n 0000000461 00000 n 0000000498 00000 n 0000000647 00000 n 0000000750 00000 n 0000002575 00000 n 0000002682 00000 n 0000002790 00000 n 0000002900 00000 n 0000003013 00000 n 0000003129 00000 n 0000003158 00000 n 0000003268 00000 n 0000008843 00000 n 0000009974 00000 n 0000010033 00000 n 0000010092 00000 n 0000010197 00000 n 0000012204 00000 n 0000012261 00000 n 0000012318 00000 n 0000017893 00000 n trailer << /Size 25 /Root 1 0 R /Info 5 0 R /ID[] >> startxref 19024 %%EOF in process “The search for a spiritual experience” | Caring Magazine

Vol. #28

Grace Uncovered

Read Issue

Latest Impact StoriesView All

Popular Topics

PopularView All

in process “The search for a spiritual experience”

June 13, 2011
4 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0
Listen to this article

By Glen Doss, Major

“Chaplain, I know now I can’t run my life on my own. I need God’s help, and I’m genuinely seeking to know him. But I’m lost. I haven’t had that ‘White Light’ experience that Bill Wilson had. How I can have such a spiritual experience so I will know God is real and is there for me?”

This is a question I hear every day. Men and women seriously seeking God are floundering, lost in the dark, not knowing where to turn. They don’t know how to have a perceptible encounter with Jesus. Many are familiar with the account of the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson—his experience as he lay in a hospital bed recovering from his latest bout with the delirium tremens:

“My depression deepened unbearably, and finally it seemed to me as though I were at the bottom of the pit. I still gagged badly on the notion of a power greater than myself, but finally, just for the moment, the last vestige of my proud obstinacy was crushed. All at once I found myself crying out, ‘If there is a God, let him show himself! I am ready to do anything, anything!’

“Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. I was caught up into an ecstasy which there are no words to describe. It seemed to me, in the mind’s eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing. And then it burst upon me that I was a free man. Slowly the ecstasy subsided. I lay on the bed, but now for a time I was in another world, a new world of consciousness. All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, ‘So this is the God of preachers!’” (Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age, p. 63).

My first encounter with God 25 years ago was similar to that of Bill Wilson. An atheist, suicidal, under psychiatric care for posttraumatic stress disorder, I was, needless to say, a mess. One night, alone in my car, in desperation, I took a leap of faith and addressed a God I doubted was even there. Later I described the experience:

“In the grips of a suicidal compulsion, I clasped my fists together and silently prayed: ‘God, if there’s the remotest chance you do exist, please let me know you now—for I don’t want to die!’ Shuddering, as the waves of despair washed over me the way an ocean swell overtakes a drowning man, I voiced silently, slowly and repeatedly the words: ‘I will be still and know that you are God.’

“Then when I thought I could fend off the suicidal impulses no longer, I was able—for a moment—to still my mind. And suddenly, shockingly I was vividly aware of God’s presence with me—a warm, reassuring, ever so compassionate and welcome Presence! How can I explain what it was like to consciously encounter God for the first time? Let me begin by acknowledging it was a warm feeling of familiarity—for I had known his presence as a small child, though I had completely forgotten him! On the other hand, this experience was different: I had since known life’s hard knocks—a devastating war experience and a heart-rending divorce—therefore I saw God through very different eyes. I saw him as a fountain of grace freeing me from a crushing burden of guilt; a counsel to guide me through muddied waters; a protector from a threatening world; and a source of inner peace in the path of the storm.”

To those struggling for a conscious contact with God, who are looking for a clear spiritual experience as evidence they’ve encountered him, I offer this advice: Address God submissively with gut-level honesty. The Bible tells us in multiple places: God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5, Prov. 3:34). The biblical definition of humility is to make a right estimate of one’s self—in other words, to show a sincere consciousness of one’s own shortcomings, accompanied by a deep respect for God.

Many of us call ourselves reaching out to God when all our efforts are centered within our intellect: out of lifelong habit we try to understand God, rather than simply surrender to him. But God can never be encountered that way; it’s a spiritual experience we seek. Jesus said, God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth (John 4:24).

Some of us first met God as we cried out desperately for him from a jailhouse floor, a hospital bed or a homeless shelter. At that point it was not understanding we were seeking—but simply help. That attitude of desperation, when we finally let go and let God, with genuine humility and awareness of need, is what it takes for first contact—and is all that is required to keep connected with God. Our “white light” experience is only the beginning of a wonderful walk that continues for a lifetime.

Download this page as a PDF

You May Also Like