Boundaries are tools we can use to stay powerful, kind and healthy. They are something that many of us aren’t naturally good at. Rather, we have to learn them. It can even take a bit of exploring to find out what yours are, then learning to set them, and communicating to people what they are.
I am sure that like me, you have experienced times when people have crossed your boundaries or even times when you have crossed someone else’s. Either of those isn’t the best feeling. That’s why it can be really powerful when you are able to know what yours are and how to have conversations about them when you need to.
I’ve been on this boundary-setting journey for awhile and I’ve come up with five things that I think every human being needs to have boundaries around.
Here’s the thing. The entire world can’t and shouldn’t have full access to you, so think about who does. Decide what relationships play the biggest role in your life and who gets what access to your schedule, your time, and your heart. An example of this could be is that your spouse has priority to you, but that stranger on the Internet doesn’t get to tell you how to live your life.
However much you value yourself will be communicated to other people and will teach them how to value you as well. By setting boundaries around how other people treat you, you can communicate to them what is okay and what is not okay. For example, if someone speaks rudely to you, you can decide to walk away.
We all have different limits on our personal space. Whether it be how close we want someone to get or even just how much alone time we need to process our life. In order to come up with boundaries in this area, you really need to know yourself. Watch and see what you’re comfortable with and where you get most of your energy. Think about boundaries you could set about how much alone time you get each day and how physically close you allow people to get.
Oh, is it ever easy to be plugged in 24/7. I mean really. It is easy. But if we are, that can really hurt not only our relationships, but our ability to connect in with ourselves and with God too. It is good to break free from our devices. So, what kind of boundaries can you set around technology? Maybe you put it away at the same time every night or maybe you take weekends unplugged.
People who have zero boundaries around their work, whether they’re employed or working for themselves, are forever at their job. They might not be physically there, but mentally they are consumed. If you’re someone head-over-heels with your work or who has a high stress job, think about what kind of boundaries you can set. Perhaps you can fully take weekends off, only answer emails during certain time periods, and find activities that help your brain to chill.
What kind of boundaries do you have? What new one will you set?