%PDF-1.7 1 0 obj << /Type /Catalog /Outlines 2 0 R /Pages 3 0 R >> endobj 2 0 obj << /Type /Outlines /Count 0 >> endobj 3 0 obj << /Type /Pages /Kids [6 0 R 18 0 R ] /Count 2 /Resources << /ProcSet 4 0 R /Font << /F1 8 0 R /F2 9 0 R /F3 10 0 R /F4 11 0 R >> /XObject << /I1 13 0 R /I2 14 0 R /I3 15 0 R /I4 31 0 R /I5 32 0 R >> /ExtGState << /GS1 16 0 R /GS2 17 0 R /GS3 20 0 R /GS4 21 0 R /GS5 22 0 R /GS6 23 0 R >> >> /MediaBox [0.000 0.000 612.000 792.000] >> endobj 4 0 obj [/PDF /Text /ImageC ] endobj 5 0 obj << /Producer (dompdf 1.0.2 + CPDF) /CreationDate (D:20241123034409+00'00') /ModDate (D:20241123034409+00'00') >> endobj 6 0 obj << /Type /Page /MediaBox [0.000 0.000 612.000 792.000] /Parent 3 0 R /Contents 7 0 R >> endobj 7 0 obj << /Filter /FlateDecode /Length 1733 >> stream xXnF+j9Z|nyA6"ȢEݼ5gL9UMɞ lX(UUyTQwlۿsw[r(gz:^.q3^tKo}t񮨋l s}^U|~͊J_"'L7l>)YMK'=RZEzUl N vP=+o jB<-δLS uu ZFϿ(c6vJQ%2$CWuV)`}Ƌ)8xqS}OnQC`^PP8;[Njy >9̃6{jA 0γ[K*~zu Iip3Qi_Qp}=~W=XPY1iW둞fI3m >"r':Y3".jwJ* 8ۤ@~֨G7jTITy>D8\:Az";]*SmR"=T(T`zNe7m%RBz'=pVkfl#jEYWt;=sE n[@@:˻& ["FؤJ̧J&5Pb[wF/P$u,/B;CC\oh j0v4M 3َm2G=t`=" 3BrIr}W) T=c/0""2/ryנ} ,DuWAIwV-M8YOM %KpsX`Q"[ۢ4⸎^5'lJUg2EB峠-O@l*92z30R! Q %ֆAyk ,쒩|/&䁮gL6Z+3DQmbⷯ$2N?/evX2e}ی+h5?}Z8UOQd));ľplV < n=aD؈AǠZ'tUPN\BG)ҹӘv4/YeŔI<10if{_l+k!E3M(LQ< Q'wNG^S<WvE` h=y:¼ Ou%Kf6Y\xc!5D|D@AzZq.Lyt!_~Oh ^mV'wcg+*d.T:~v/etBeEikOȁ|8URʚh齎 ݈{\>+,ɱ.VsjeAkdj!ެdi'ojKG&E79(QTxz=–Y:4Xėr4氩]5=|SNǂQǻYn'_/V5范@']^ endstream endobj 8 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F1 /BaseFont /Helvetica /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 9 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F2 /BaseFont /Times-Bold /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 10 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F3 /BaseFont /Times-Roman /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 11 0 obj << /Type /Font /Subtype /Type1 /Name /F4 /BaseFont /Helvetica-Bold /Encoding /WinAnsiEncoding >> endobj 12 0 obj [6 0 R /Fit] endobj 13 0 obj << /Type /XObject /Subtype /Image /Width 125 /Height 125 /ColorSpace /DeviceRGB /Filter /DCTDecode /BitsPerComponent 8 /Length 4875>> stream JFIFC    !'"#%%%),($+!$%$C   $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$}}" پιý sYȘ^= MC =Pѭ972+B|XoT_T5Yf5_zg|NulY #I;y0OC:4l9,MhCԼ#5Ge w~Mkc%E@^,T?WՅbk:*푦ϧZ0klSMi}鷴ƶP" 1 M*L- yޤzoI} f49qg+!"1 #23A$%4C|w~9q\cu66lW#^r|ak4ѷiu6xќ هԓCoFl3φ>*" EvH*,i6ܣ/tЍ7V(f0Bn[ QSjs  @ $mj_Ji8]X_+ps|<&j} XpZpbg]{y$'v&3!1"A2Qaq B#0Rb3r?~Gפ*V0^c;~<<;tU1=1gcD&<+)G eO}KVnba;5_ʫs}>x-hf1dY [ 3kqUۅ$CyX='(K|xtmz Aؙ`%%z+}ip׀W;QuXvN 6jvgPh.)to:>a Uɴ>G}`s=FzEJ3ycNh ӯ/k:QKKz,&#~1Qg'~:E՞S݂y*`]ef\#ikS Wz{?7 uhD{*"XqK&c@ω3Mwq4E\؜5.nix7Nؗ/w4~nafQpiޞû-n|"Ȳ]eOq)8E5-22*g@2ߴ>XSN)=WheL%j!]vQtʆhۯg"^JzfqD u_"\a2n@8FEk24 1 P۲ uAtm@J q7'AHim"<*=u&GI!kWRc:ea(,0ׯ-&H;L)`v.fyY78:΍pmUe4N]jYd6jq,#'fW7܇b5>&ז({ZsX>aт5TH'@P  %*~4_J?hw,-M 61U[aPRC @(qȇEE:d`7%W1>ݱ, e^FbYKMA[ _j=25 jG6yH|$M%E ع0=@5e+ =Ԩ>{&)D"]PG~`Ay=0XeէuT8Y^yFi4ߨ|EB=V(LݮV@}AwF0ś3kW@=}.qi@3jp`7t`"Z'`Fa8_vS A8Mg}Ef7GYM-keN߲D4Ց1vѵKB-H֚3u-AE9k6'3_t{M<-&`hw2՛Z<ql5TͶ&n1e97 7@dǺDžs4e\d K_gH({@L=jDNFb[D>@X) },ID6aޡ1D 6ȹTpWHQ)O1ƒ6_0hFIUe iP,S˯d) 3CS׼":+̖N5k%}!lw+Yz0Ga glwz ` vl1|ߙ`qjwXEݎǔWKq.y̷=#6bUd-P()؈eZE=0l)IF:VO Жz$9=a ׍}W: I G%~Rut2>mܗ -V\h`PЏV Vh73so' ; ye.nd?q -pl+] \ 0m Ymؠo, o B6zϮ]4{x٨` MkYK+8~v*WMCCA}0>k}gdx_]L*^樢Ǽu-bz yjġ=͆+񘆖#zQW!R[C5rcE:v5nUԼU_rGiO~ʘe/Amݨ| EO6Ô6=53*ME{])? endstream endobj 14 0 obj << /Type /XObject /Subtype /Image /Width 550 /Height 140 /Filter /FlateDecode /DecodeParms << /Predictor 15 /Colors 1 /Columns 550 /BitsPerComponent 8>> /ColorSpace /DeviceGray /BitsPerComponent 8 /Length 5329>> stream xqDǯ뺒$ILfff&I335Lf2\3I2L&_3$3I$d+$\W=9y9lLss99P`0 `0 `0 `0 !U_:~u = F~sZŻدns⃪Qg¢G(F[-s͓^ DZ>d>3Dr#\OΉ, ZFwjux<;4Ƀxز#_v?nO<|{7c(b{Oū}w[N e~Hs䎷wwOn<1B.k+%U=eԘ -mCj)t:}c'ϓ*n"-ovkZ?R"V%wʶ7s]eX&eǕq` 1-2e JYHCFOUam 7:(Ԙt_@ހN t{B~ :V@}o#7!z^&zFL:ʤn X<- %"bNWqF c` M'4?cH-V`ǵAF>=#Ěm75dB I&7E5<>-͏їFǿl3M6x]Y&)2 FoΌ N.<t i4wL\^=_|Fo؏IȄ ik$ɄL?{?|tmCޮ=~T&iTevϷ'奔s?EꋄLPY͹箵?@L:Aˤ3y_:9AtA*0qVe- e6g)%a}.qKcI V/xʤzM|\ HSql0;*%+Mذ-闛obebu2iU&lLbtIcxb5^B#8 ޮaʻ _ w>j+L:$"&O;bZ K1 jmU玫ݢ=S/J<WO2'_yUPvp=`"aL5 Nl7"rlQT޼==-I[Se* F'(\`󴯉'{:נnVZ TG6*r$Tyx^LJū.C<3` %ANrxUo"˄ 0&$tO F&bIcW3GG͈ y!{m,LkCI d,(2"@ dR%F1thUL8Rݒ^+v9^?sʯYעDl~Qd" N2sc|ov}=F,3K#vxIvG^,[OM&wI[#,Jޙ\ض;L^fv[LbyYvM#/EI#/Zס$(ڼ ," &LK/IF i-Zx彰픢]MKeR n(PhV'LҸ\f$w/ e]"mɷWO߻˱ KerSPe (ӼGMȈ}X?ʍto7ZKl+81_Y&ǡd uʤ1Vw!sQ"/$zNkw(t)2BWQW"˄OXLp:e‡# וzn2F}qlc5ؾ:WH xLz LP:d# Q>(MRېd2Qt$o~R$YR5,-nޜLr_βehd" 2k1lvO X= eC p+[R=jU!֖}_DޟY2 (*wkZQ>Fl̲soR#^u3hhyTԲt.LtD8sk4z4Rbl@zp4hy0Tn\=.fnő Y/:TC9<@fSI$:QR/bq7DfR/ֻn)Vqd"䳽˄GL;ϝRG顼n&%Sv eFv,L"t}I&N> D73]$e)( ;]XhL`kSzJlcC$<)깍h}dr,1ܝRM뭍eMa $?e3f8΍҈&P(x+JU5{I 3 M- ;7|#G9 !\œ&=xp2,L{-`?OW":4uܚEadv ~9q.VdV%UT@73$@W¯B!ݒaVLH:!opr;gAɀiήpfߙR E/IDO*Luf0}{7mfyDxT.g)w5RvHx#Z]&M$ gZUTt+lZqZ_;a&JaG,-JLJDFIcV|:I3nB&;N0Lna=Y_Gl,p5,,kc EKgd;2vt7selT9˸sX޲.6r<1!| L0lTMS1?Xsf cq )KSgBB&׭x. v c@^Yk΀v],E[ɾ QhYyXXC2)g/J@su1ScL, ?C[{V2i͛!סӠ&> 6lu>4Ƕʤ|=12鱧l{^:a/Y%~].26G: p^CZ V&Vedҟ?RrX7d#I]ՕuL1 ?_ /12IEh ̴b<ӯ^e _ϝ䰻^]vy> /ColorSpace /DeviceRGB /BitsPerComponent 8 /Length 873>> stream x1j08-K/)],) &gi+:U̲\"9H!@"9H!@"9H!@eY.Z[p_E{QHKV[/`j%ʒcP,SX4W{7urd5ɱPr:-ֆʇX$$zfZpClbw7z{[]qGlwlGlZiM,ߺ7x}w` L9=3zpWL9 j)ۓB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$e]k` B$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$/؋ endstream endobj 16 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /CA 0.3 >> endobj 17 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /ca 0.3 >> endobj 18 0 obj << /Type /Page /MediaBox [0.000 0.000 612.000 792.000] /Parent 3 0 R /Annots [ 25 0 R 27 0 R 29 0 R ] /Contents 19 0 R >> endobj 19 0 obj << /Filter /FlateDecode /Length 1623 >> stream xXr6+hW }˱:ő*hdǚ _|ͧHʢ9Jڝ0h4/ڛ3| hݟ LR{|)<}zRuES8,n5U>Q5_Rʣ:5>4p[:t_~^e24}%St:Nt,ms -M8j(=C*+ZI՘>״UD luzAkpTdI:FQX{S3 X%Njﮭˁ Sqy Ț:3JHDH]ۘt|El 5SuӔR|#նŝ**u%7w i 8VhLR`n~@::s@Z.wi$Ra剺\̈y_(fBAc%r`)Y)iU*4AoմԊlԃ Ȳ5/ڒ|BV ZjTM z  Z3˞5L/M7-ss{̏8e[uSEZUl_ 'i@0sǭ1uq4_%‹ׄ\bZmoR <k[~Ƙ]q=r5t47T<$ʄQ+"0li4Q$GJp5P>ct,o6==Σ#!{Cx=Dc0с1Ct;;Br.[sX\ەі9ex {=dlZK}RK$ sԦmLFV''b:G lϦp$1dDGcX9Y$|/ wS/J8CFR!ObErRY/> I0#s,vnF[9ѭ\V3GC}]D9l(Gskw+3Stǜj'~cu' oB(Cv?-V7AP;X*P'qeGZltNyJ>åRqQ8)f6TX~HiP*qNJy֜ڭVh9՚*a?+9e st-:sbLح9+յەі9e>3-G^?Hg5A7r|`X}C [u1f;m+}iAwA9mz`s(|VyJ1;ST~@fH(j9rAwM4zriO6wY u_}Ma8 _.?"8|""RENI1W>2Ʉ5} @6 O }xz[J 6]sqQIQ0Mbm̛Ͱkګw=B^ˏ!]NEm)1" `K\.v AY endstream endobj 20 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /CA 1 >> endobj 21 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /ca 1 >> endobj 22 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /ca 0.67 >> endobj 23 0 obj << /Type /ExtGState /BM /Normal /CA 0.67 >> endobj 24 0 obj [18 0 R /Fit] endobj 25 0 obj << /Type /Annot /Subtype /Link /A 26 0 R /Border [0 0 0] /H /I /Rect [ 91.0040 455.1980 250.3880 467.4080 ] >> endobj 26 0 obj << /Type /Action /S /URI /URI (https://westernusa.salvationarmy.org/usw_thq/location_search/) >> endobj 27 0 obj << /Type /Annot /Subtype /Link /A 28 0 R /Border [0 0 0] /H /I /Rect [ 65.0000 440.5460 146.3720 452.7560 ] >> endobj 28 0 obj << /Type /Action /S /URI /URI (https://give-usw.salvationarmy.org/give/229662/#!/donation/checkout) >> endobj 29 0 obj << /Type /Annot /Subtype /Link /A 30 0 R /Border [0 0 0] /H /I /Rect [ 187.0640 396.5900 279.0920 408.8000 ] >> endobj 30 0 obj << /Type /Action /S /URI /URI (https://course.caringmagazine.org) >> endobj 31 0 obj << /Type /XObject /Subtype /Image /Width 550 /Height 140 /Filter /FlateDecode /DecodeParms << /Predictor 15 /Colors 1 /Columns 550 /BitsPerComponent 8>> /ColorSpace /DeviceGray /BitsPerComponent 8 /Length 5329>> stream xqDǯ뺒$ILfff&I335Lf2\3I2L&_3$3I$d+$\W=9y9lLss99P`0 `0 `0 `0 !U_:~u = F~sZŻدns⃪Qg¢G(F[-s͓^ DZ>d>3Dr#\OΉ, ZFwjux<;4Ƀxز#_v?nO<|{7c(b{Oū}w[N e~Hs䎷wwOn<1B.k+%U=eԘ -mCj)t:}c'ϓ*n"-ovkZ?R"V%wʶ7s]eX&eǕq` 1-2e JYHCFOUam 7:(Ԙt_@ހN t{B~ :V@}o#7!z^&zFL:ʤn X<- %"bNWqF c` M'4?cH-V`ǵAF>=#Ěm75dB I&7E5<>-͏їFǿl3M6x]Y&)2 FoΌ N.<t i4wL\^=_|Fo؏IȄ ik$ɄL?{?|tmCޮ=~T&iTevϷ'奔s?EꋄLPY͹箵?@L:Aˤ3y_:9AtA*0qVe- e6g)%a}.qKcI V/xʤzM|\ HSql0;*%+Mذ-闛obebu2iU&lLbtIcxb5^B#8 ޮaʻ _ w>j+L:$"&O;bZ K1 jmU玫ݢ=S/J<WO2'_yUPvp=`"aL5 Nl7"rlQT޼==-I[Se* F'(\`󴯉'{:נnVZ TG6*r$Tyx^LJū.C<3` %ANrxUo"˄ 0&$tO F&bIcW3GG͈ y!{m,LkCI d,(2"@ dR%F1thUL8Rݒ^+v9^?sʯYעDl~Qd" N2sc|ov}=F,3K#vxIvG^,[OM&wI[#,Jޙ\ض;L^fv[LbyYvM#/EI#/Zס$(ڼ ," &LK/IF i-Zx彰픢]MKeR n(PhV'LҸ\f$w/ e]"mɷWO߻˱ KerSPe (ӼGMȈ}X?ʍto7ZKl+81_Y&ǡd uʤ1Vw!sQ"/$zNkw(t)2BWQW"˄OXLp:e‡# וzn2F}qlc5ؾ:WH xLz LP:d# Q>(MRېd2Qt$o~R$YR5,-nޜLr_βehd" 2k1lvO X= eC p+[R=jU!֖}_DޟY2 (*wkZQ>Fl̲soR#^u3hhyTԲt.LtD8sk4z4Rbl@zp4hy0Tn\=.fnő Y/:TC9<@fSI$:QR/bq7DfR/ֻn)Vqd"䳽˄GL;ϝRG顼n&%Sv eFv,L"t}I&N> D73]$e)( ;]XhL`kSzJlcC$<)깍h}dr,1ܝRM뭍eMa $?e3f8΍҈&P(x+JU5{I 3 M- ;7|#G9 !\œ&=xp2,L{-`?OW":4uܚEadv ~9q.VdV%UT@73$@W¯B!ݒaVLH:!opr;gAɀiήpfߙR E/IDO*Luf0}{7mfyDxT.g)w5RvHx#Z]&M$ gZUTt+lZqZ_;a&JaG,-JLJDFIcV|:I3nB&;N0Lna=Y_Gl,p5,,kc EKgd;2vt7selT9˸sX޲.6r<1!| L0lTMS1?Xsf cq )KSgBB&׭x. v c@^Yk΀v],E[ɾ QhYyXXC2)g/J@su1ScL, ?C[{V2i͛!סӠ&> 6lu>4Ƕʤ|=12鱧l{^:a/Y%~].26G: p^CZ V&Vedҟ?RrX7d#I]ՕuL1 ?_ /12IEh ̴b<ӯ^e _ϝ䰻^]vy> /ColorSpace /DeviceRGB /BitsPerComponent 8 /Length 873>> stream x1j08-K/)],) &gi+:U̲\"9H!@"9H!@"9H!@eY.Z[p_E{QHKV[/`j%ʒcP,SX4W{7urd5ɱPr:-ֆʇX$$zfZpClbw7z{[]qGlwlGlZiM,ߺ7x}w` L9=3zpWL9 j)ۓB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$e]k` B$ DrB$ DrB$ DrB$/؋ endstream endobj xref 0 33 0000000000 65535 f 0000000009 00000 n 0000000074 00000 n 0000000120 00000 n 0000000474 00000 n 0000000511 00000 n 0000000660 00000 n 0000000763 00000 n 0000002569 00000 n 0000002676 00000 n 0000002784 00000 n 0000002894 00000 n 0000003007 00000 n 0000003036 00000 n 0000008079 00000 n 0000013654 00000 n 0000014785 00000 n 0000014844 00000 n 0000014903 00000 n 0000015041 00000 n 0000016738 00000 n 0000016795 00000 n 0000016852 00000 n 0000016912 00000 n 0000016972 00000 n 0000017002 00000 n 0000017129 00000 n 0000017242 00000 n 0000017369 00000 n 0000017488 00000 n 0000017616 00000 n 0000017701 00000 n 0000023276 00000 n trailer << /Size 33 /Root 1 0 R /Info 5 0 R /ID[<84d91f8c6c1c8dcdc95f5d8f1c82cc6a><84d91f8c6c1c8dcdc95f5d8f1c82cc6a>] >> startxref 24407 %%EOF The lonely summer that healed me  | Caring Magazine

Vol. #28

Grace Uncovered

Read Issue

Latest Impact StoriesView All

Popular Topics

PopularView All

The lonely summer that healed me 

byElizabeth Veras Holland
August 23, 2019
3 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0
Listen to this article

Lonely is not a word one generally hears to describe summer in a favorable way. Lonely is a word we avoid. It is dark and scary and summer is usually described with words like “bright” and “sunny.” I had a very lonely summer in 2016, but it wasn’t dark and scary. It actually ended up bringing some light. It acquainted me with a beautiful stranger: myself. 

Before that summer, I lived for two years in a house with 12 other girls—I was constantly surrounded by people. There were always plans; there was always someone to watch TV with. In that house there was a lot of bickering, but also a lot of laughter—a lot of beautiful memories shared with others. 

I knew that I was eventually going to have to branch out. I had never lived alone, and something inside me felt I needed to do it.  

I took a job working early morning shifts at a cafe, using every penny I had to move into a tiny apartment in downtown San Francisco. When I handed the check to my new landlord for the deposit, I felt so strong. I couldn’t believe I had managed to rent my own place. 

Then, the reality of living alone set in. The first night was rough. Going to sleep and waking up in an empty room was torture for me. I could not stand to be with myself for even a second. I ended up calling my dad at 2 a.m. so he could talk to me while I tried to fall back asleep. This lasted a month. What was I thinking wanting to live on my own? 

Eventually things began to shift. True moments of beauty began revealing themselves: The discovery that right outside my window was a big, beautiful palm tree; the sun rising and setting, leaving the sky behind the tree a mixture of gorgeous pinks and purples; putting up my little white string lights and turning them on for the first time, making the room sparkle and glow. 

The fact that I was alone and quiet to feel all these moments—truly—for myself.  

I was gifted a coffee maker and spent my mornings off snuggling in my bed, drinking coffee and reading with no plans. I spent time with friends, but more often than not, I was falling in love with having my own space. I was falling in love with loneliness. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be around people or convinced myself that I was never going to need anyone ever again. I recognized the opportunity I had to solidify my relationship with myself. The relationship I (like many others) had always fought so hard to put last. 

I could sit at my window for hours with nothing but my palm tree and the changing sky as company. These were moments I will never forget—moments that remind me who I am today. 

In retrospect, it hit me how the palm tree is a symbol of Jesus’ arrival into Jerusalem. Palm Sunday. Those moments weren’t just about me getting to know myself. They were a holy time. Perhaps Jesus had found me the apartment with the palm tree right outside of it for a reason.

I’m getting married soon and my lonely girl days are coming to an end. But that loneliness will always be a part of who I am: The girl who is vulnerable and afraid, but falls in love any way—risking it all to live a life she is proud of.

 

Do Good: 

  • Visit westernusa.salvationarmy.org to find The Salvation Army nearest you. 
  • Give to support the fight for good in your community.
  • Tell people who you are, what you’re passionate about and why you care. Find confidence, healing or simply the satisfaction of finding your voice, owning your story and sharing it with others. Sign up for our free email course and get started today. 
Download this page as a PDF

You May Also Like