83: How to pursue what makes you come alive with Emily Ley
Emily is the founder of Simplified, a brand of planners and home organization tools for busy women, the bestselling author of four books, a wife and mother of three.
She didn’t always have a life she loved, however, and her latest book, “Growing Boldly: Dare to Build a Life You Love,” is a look into her journey to creating one. It’s a letter to women everywhere to believe in yourself, imagine the life of your dreams and chase it with grit and determination.
Her own story is proof after what started as a bedtime, Etsy-based, side hustle, Emily grew into an award-winning company with products selling everywhere from target to Office Depot. I even have one sitting right here on my desk.
Now in her book, she shares five key practices that propelled her—the BUILD philosophy to:
Believe in who you are (and whose you are)
Use what you have
Imagine the life you dream of
Love your people (and all people) well
Do what matters: forget the rest
Now on the show, Emily is here to share from her book on pursuing what makes you come alive.
As she says, your calling is to connect with that spark within you, that unique switch placed there by God, that will ignite your soul.
So how do you pursue what makes you come alive?
Listen and subscribe to the Do Gooders Podcast now. Below is a transcript of the episode, edited for readability. For more information on the people and ideas in the episode, see the links at the bottom of this post.
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In high school, I auditioned and was chosen to be part of my school’s color guard. At some schools, color guard was an extracurricular activity, something kids did just for fun. At Tate High School, however, color guard was life.
My junior year, I was selected as one of four girls performing the most difficult of skills: a “walking five” performed with a mock rifle. This is where the rifle is tossed into the air (while walking), spins five times, and then is caught steps from where it was originally released.
It was beautiful—art and choreography coming together at its finest to tell a story that deserved nothing less than perfection. When performed perfectly the moment elicited roaring cheers and goosebumps. When performed incorrectly, well . . . when someone dropped their rifle or missed their catch, it was horrendously embarrassing. We performed this show for months. Some competitions we did better than others. But we worked up to the Winter Guard International World Championship in Dayton, Ohio, where world-class color guards from all around the world gather to compete. The days-long competition held many rounds, narrowing down to the few best color guards to compete in the finals.
This competition wasn’t like any other competition though. We performed in the Dayton Flyers basketball arena (a far cry from the high school gyms we normally competed in). Not only was the arena enormous, but the ceiling was black.
Now, imagine you’re tossing something high in the air, hoping to catch it perfectly, and the ceiling is black. The black ceiling always threw people off. And I just knew, deep down in my soul, that it would happen to me. The fear of dropping that rifle, in sheer silence, in front of thousands, the crack as it hit the floor, the devastation among my teammates at my one mistake…the pressure was thick and the fear lived with me all year.
During prelims, I was so scared of messing up that I was hardly able to enjoy myself out on the floor. I performed safely so as not to disappoint anyone. We scored well, but the performance didn’t have the same power as it usually did. And apparently I wasn’t the only one nervous. Everyone held back a bit.
This is it. I can either go out there and play it safe, hold back, and have a decent performance and experience. Or I can give it all I have, right now in this moment, this one solitary life of mine. I can expend every ounce of energy and put to use every skill I was born with and have developed over years of hard, hard, hard work.
The buzzer sounded that it was our time to take the floor. Rifles and sabers in hand, we high-fived one another and made our way out into the dim arena in front of thousands. We all took our positions and began.
My heart began racing.
You’ve got this.
Up. Up. Up.
Caught perfectly in my hands. I made an audible sound of relief, and shock, and pride, and somehow, a photographer snapped my photo at the exact moment. The feeling I had inside was written all over my face. I have this photo in my house now, 20 years later, to remind me of the time when I nearly let fear pull me away from my calling, from an experience I would carry with me the rest of my life. What a gift it was to be able to pursue such a thing, to do something with four years of my life and with my body that made me feel so very alive.
My calling, during those years, during that season, was to connect with that spark within me, that unique switch placed there by God, that would ignite my soul. What a miracle that I found it for a few brief years. And what an even greater miracle that I was able to leave all my fears on the floor that day and do a brave thing. I’ll never forget the way that made me feel. And I’ve been chasing that feeling of being most truly alive ever since.
I know you’ve felt that spark. I know you know that feeling, even if it’s somewhere deep, maybe hiding in your past. And everything we’ve been through together, through all the talk of goals and dreams, is just a way of going after that spark. Of building it into a life you love, day in and day out. When was the last time you felt that spark?
Our calling changes and evolves over the years as we grow and our circumstances change. My calling, during my high school years, was to connect with that spark, to develop a lifelong spirit of determination, and to learn grit, gumption, and scrappiness. Those virtues served me well in my callings that followed—as a wife, mother, designer, and writer—as a friend, leader, and creator. The key to realizing your calling is to be comfortable with the fact that it will evolve as the seasons of your life change. So often, we believe our vocation has to be our calling, that the service we contribute to the world has to be deeply rooted in who we were made to be. I’d argue that that’s not always the case. It’s wonderful to pursue your calling as your career. But it’s also okay to have a job that pays the bills and also have a calling that isn’t required to fund your life.
There is inherent magic at the intersection of God’s calling for our lives and what makes us feel truly alive. To discover God’s calling for our lives, at least in this particular season, we have to know ourselves and know God. We do this by embracing who we are, celebrating what ignites our soul, and actively pursuing a relationship with God. If you travel the path toward what makes you feel most alive, and get to know God along the way, chances are you’ll eventually find yourself at that magic intersection.
- Read “Growing Boldly: Dare to Build a Life You Love” (Thomas Nelson, 2021) by Emily Ley.
- Find Emily Ley online or on Instagram.
- Get inside the Caring Magazine Scripture Study Collection and find a suite of free, downloadable Bible studies to guide you through topics from New Beginnings Through Forgiveness, to Understanding our Imago Dei or Life Hacks From David.
Listen and subscribe to the Do Gooders Podcast now.