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38: Four steps to cultivating true friendship today with Drew Hunter

February 3, 2020
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We know the value of friendship, we’d all agree with that—yet studies continually show increasing rates of loneliness and isolation in our culture.

There are even companies today that allow you to “rent a friend,” to pay for a companion to keep you company. 

While most people have friends, you could argue that few of us know true friendship. That we walk around largely unknown.

Drew Hunter says we don’t think much about this topic because we don’t think we need to, and as a result, friendship is one of the most familiar yet forgotten relationships of our day.

A graduate of the Moody Bible Institute and the Wheaton College Graduate School, Drew is the teaching pastor at Zionsville Fellowship in Indiana. He is the author of the book: “Made for Friendship: The Relationship That Halves Our Sorrows and Doubles Our Joys.”

In it, he explores biblical insights and real-world examples that provide a picture of what true friendship really looks like. He shows us how to cultivate relationships that go deeper than surface-level tastes and shared interests. And he encourages us with the hope of a deep friendship with God.

So what is the true meaning of friendship? And why do we need it? 

Show highlights include:

  • Why did Drew write a book on friendship? Reality of living in a culture of loneliness, social disintegration.
  • Value of friendship: Close connections with people you know deeply, share life with and help through burdens.
  • Act of friendship: Jesus gave his life sacrificially and considered those around him his friends.
  • Are you as good a friend as you thought you were? Maybe not.
  • What’s increasing isolation? Increased mobility, disintegration of relationships and the digital revolution.
  • What does true friendship look like? Affectionate bond built by joining of souls marked by truth and trust.
  • How do people hinder true friendships? Staying at a superficial level and being too busy to get to know others.
  • Sin vs. solitude: First problem in human history. Before sin, God declared solitude as not good.
  • Covenantal relationship: True friendship has commitment. Strings are attached that imply responsibilities.
  • How to heal friendships:
    • Prioritize face-to-face communication.
    • Ask good questions.
    • Model transparency by exposing openness and weakness.
    • Offer affirmation and encouragement.
  • What is a friendship with God? True, faithful best friend who will never forsake you.
  • Top tip: Focus less on finding and making friends to meet your needs, and more on being a true friend to intentionally bless others.  

Good words from Drew Hunter in this show:

[07:48] “Friendship is going to take different forms for different people.” 

[14:58] “True friendship does have commitment.” 

[21:31] “He is not going to call us his servants, anymore. He is calling us his friends, and he gives his life for us.” 

[24:12] “One top tip, I think it would be to not focus so much on finding a true friend or making someone into a better friend, but focus on being a true friend.”

Additional resources:

Download this episode wherever you get your podcasts. Find show notes for this episode and more at caringmagazine.org/podcast. Connect with Drew Hunter via Zionsville Fellowship.

Download this page as a PDF

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