Listen to this article
You recently heard from a few people donating to a Salvation Army red kettle on why they do it.
Today, I want to take you deeper into what that giving can do.
As a young mother, Billie Lawson was married to an active member of the military. There was one Christmas in 1986 that they were struggling to make ends meet. She remembers it well.
In fact, she wasn’t sure they’d be able to have a Christmas that year at all.
And how do you explain that to three little kids?
She wasn’t much a person of faith then, but she cried and prayed to God one night as she went to sleep. What happened the next day might as well be pulled straight from a Hallmark Christmas movie. And you’ll have to hear her tell it.
What unfolded that Christmas wasn’t the end. It changed the way Billie saw things, and would end up changing—even saving—her life.
Today, Billie is the director of retail for the Grand Junction, Colorado, corps. She’s worked for The Salvation Army for well over a decade.
Now she’s helping make Christmas brighter for others.
Show highlights include:
- Billie Lawson’s role with The Salvation Army today.
- More about what her childhood was like.
- What it was like as a mom as Christmas approached, knowing how many extra expenses come with the holiday that were out of reach.
- How she met The Salvation Army that Christmas.
- More than food and toys and a Christmas tree, what she experienced as a result of gifts that year.
- How it changed her understanding of generosity and faith.
- Why, so many years later, she loves The Salvation Army.
- How she believes The Salvation Army shines at Christmastime.
- What she would say to anyone today who might also be wondering how they’re going to make it happen this Christmas.
- What she would say to those in a position to give this Christmas.
Listen and subscribe to the Do Gooders Podcast now. Below is a transcript of the episode, edited for readability. For more information on the people and ideas in the episode, see the links at the bottom of this post.
* * *
Christin Thieme: Billie, welcome to the Do Gooders Podcast. Thank you so much for being here with me today.
Billie Lawson: Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here.
Christin Thieme: Can you tell me a little bit about your role with The Salvation Army today?
Billie Lawson: So today I work as a director of retail for The Salvation Army in the Intermountain Division. I started with them about 15 and a half years ago as a manager in their Montrose [Colorado] area, and I have been thoroughly blessed in my employment with The Salvation Army.
Christin Thieme: Always good to hear. I know you’ve mentioned that you grew up in really difficult conditions. Obviously I don’t want to exploit your story, but can you share a little bit about what your childhood was like?
Billie Lawson: My childhood was, not to be dramatic, horrific. We were a family of nine, so there were seven of us children. We had parents who were alcoholics and/or pill addicted, and so there was a lot of abuse, a lot of damage done to many of us. I was, am the baby, so there’s only a couple of us left now. Most of them have passed on, but yeah, it was pretty bad. We suffered. Well, we all suffered differently. I suffered every form of abuse at our home.
Christin Thieme: I’m so sorry.
Billie Lawson: It’s okay. God is so good. He can pull you out of darkness and bring you into light and purpose in his time.
Christin Thieme: So fast-forward to 1986. You were the spouse or the dependent of someone in the military. I know you said at that point you were struggling to get by. What did that look like? Can you paint a little bit of a picture for us of what life was like for you in 1986?
Billie Lawson: So in 1986, I was the proud mother of three and I was married to a beautiful Marine and he had just enlisted in ’84, and the branch he was in you could not get base housing until you reached a certain rank, which he had not reached. So it was difficult being new in our marriage and new in our relationship, and him adopting my two daughters and us having a son together, to make ends meet at times. He worked very, very hard. And so I took a job with a 7-Eleven at the time and was working with them, and I’ve searched my memory to try to recall what was happening specifically during that Christmas season that we didn’t have it together, but it just didn’t come together. And there was such responsibility in our home, but the money just wasn’t applying itself to us where we could make ends meet and a struggle was ensuing our brains.
Christin Thieme: Yeah, that’s reality for a lot of people, unfortunately.
Billie Lawson: Yeah.
Christin Thieme: What was it like for you, what went through your mind, as a mom, especially, as Christmas approached, knowing how many extra expenses come with the holiday?
Billie Lawson: I fell back into some of the abuse that I had grown up in. I felt like the failure that I was told I would be. I felt like I wasn’t doing the things the way I should have been. I had reared my children that Christmas, it was not wrapped around God and Jesus. It was, there is a Jesus, he died for you. It was just the basic walk of God in my life. I didn’t really have a relationship with him; I only knew of him. And I had not raised my children to really have a relationship with God, only to know that there is one.
And so here I was just feeling like a failure, feeling I couldn’t do anything right. And just hearing my mother’s words just vibrating in my brain and I just felt hopeless.
I felt like I wasn’t a good mom. I felt like I raised my children wrong and now Christmas is just a few weeks away and how do I fix it, what do I do? And I fell into prayer that night, and I didn’t even know how to pray, but I prayed so hard and I cried and talking to someone that I didn’t even know, just hoping that there was God and that he could help me. If nothing else, just give me the words to explain to my children Christmas morning, why what they’re used to isn’t present today. I cried myself to sleep and I woke up the next day realizing, “Wow, you actually were in prayer and went to sleep.” So I felt like even more of a fool because I was talking to God and I fell asleep, and I didn’t know God. I didn’t know that that’s okay, if you’re sleepy, you can sleep. He loves me.
And at that time though, I didn’t know he loved me. I just was looking at him to please him like I had tried to please my parents. So I prayed. I fell asleep. And I woke up the next day, just as lost but hopeful.
And I went to work and I worked at 7-Eleven and I worked a 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. shift and a guest came in and asked if I knew anyone that needed a Christmas tree. And I said, “No, I don’t know of anyone that needs one. No one’s come to the store for a Christmas tree.” I said, “If I could be so emboldened though, I don’t have one in my home.” And she said, “Well, we have trees, we can give you a tree.” And I’m like, “That’s awesome. How can I get it?” And they delivered it to my home. And that in itself was amazing to me because growing up as I had, I had many, many walls around me and I wouldn’t allow others to really help me much because I felt indebted or indentured to them. And here they bring it to my house.
And she gave me this piece of paper to take to another location and I thought maybe it was for receipt of the tree. And when I got there, that’s when I realized it was The Salvation Army and I had no experience or knowledge of The Salvation Army at all. I grew up in Ohio and there wasn’t, when I grew up there, a strong presence of The Salvation Army in the area that I was in. I thought that was really awesome that they would bring it to my house. And then when I got there to the building with my receipt for what I thought was for the tree, it was a toy distribution. And I don’t know, I just was overcome. And the hospitality, the kindness, I wasn’t used to that at all. And they just handed me bags and there were toys all over the tables. And said, “Take what you can use for your children.”
I was so humbled and so miserly in what I was doing, I was just so out of place in all of it and feeling things stirring in me that I wasn’t familiar with. And then they had me go to another area of the building and gave us an amazing meal for the holiday. And it included everything, it even included a dessert. And I was just in awe. Like I said, I’ve never had anyone give to me. And probably a lot of that was because I wouldn’t let them, but I needed this for my children. And so I had to put my pride and myself aside and seek those things, and I’m so grateful that I did and so grateful for The Salvation Army.
Christin Thieme: And what an incredible story that somebody just came into the store that day asking if anybody needed a tree. I love that. It could not be any more miraculous, really, for you and your family.
Billie Lawson: Absolutely. And like I said, that was one of the… We get lost and, “God, I don’t know how I’m going to pay my electric bill. I could use your help.” And then we get it fixed and we forget about God and we get lost and we find him again. And that’s kind of the walk that I had. I knew there was a God that could be there to help me, but I only needed him when I needed him. And I have since learned that I need him always. I need him 24/7, 365.
Christin Thieme: So what was that Christmas like?
Billie Lawson: Oh my gosh, it was amazing. It was amazing because it came together. So in its simplicity, it was simple and it was like, “Yay, they’ve got some toys, we have a dinner.” And it was simply fixed. But in the midst of it, I… I am trying not to get emotional, I apologize. I do in my heart believe that through that action of The Salvation Army, that following a prayer, unlike a prayer I had ever had for God or to God, that even though Christmas was normal, it wasn’t the same normal anymore. I had to let my children know that this was help from an organization and I had to start teaching my children that it’s a time of giving and not receiving. And through giving you receive a whole lot more.
And I was able to begin teaching my children who God really is, because I believe wholeheartedly again that that is when I truly found God. I prayed and the very next day my prayer was answered through a volunteer of The Salvation Army and through The Salvation Army’s hard good works to collect and do the things that they do. And I started turning my life around and found God and found purpose and shed a lot of the pain from my past and learned how to recognize triggers and fix them. And God has helped me fix me to where I can be compassionate and to where I now have purpose, and I am loved and I know who my Father is.
Christin Thieme: Such an incredible testimony, really. Thank you for sharing with us. Now, it’s so many years later and you are still involved The Salvation Army. Can you tell us why do you love this organization and being part of it?
Billie Lawson: I don’t even know that my first experience with them reflected on my employment with them 30 some odd years later, 35 years later. It was interesting to seek employment with The Salvation Army remembering that, and it was a difficult journey being hired through The Salvation Army just for overqualification reasons.
But I am so grateful that I didn’t give up in my effort to work for The Salvation Army because when I came on board, I thought I was good and I was healed and I was strong. I had counseling, I had a relationship with God. I thought I was good and I was still so lost. And through the officers that I have had the pleasure of working below, the ministry, they were loving, open, kind. You could tell they just love God and they want to share the good news that he loves you. And I think it made it easy for me to reach out to them as pastors and say, “Hey, I’m dealing with this and I have this thought about my mom and sometimes ugly thoughts. And I just wanted her to go away. I wanted her to die because I didn’t want her to hurt me anymore,” because she went on to use my name and my social and steal my identity and just continued to hurt me even though I was out of the home.
And we had great officers and they ministered to me. And one of them specifically, and I won’t put his name out there, but he told me, “Worry about nothing and pray about everything.” And every time he would see me he would say, “Worry about nothing and pray about everything.” And I started learning that I couldn’t not worry, because I worry it’s just part of my DNA, I guess, but prayer sure makes a difference with that worry. When I go to God and worry, I’m reminded that I’m not alone and that he is present and he’s in the midst of all things good or bad in my favor. And so I don’t worry too much and move forward through it and have faith knowing that he is present and that he is working things out for me as long as I stay on that righteous path with him.
Christin Thieme: How do you think The Salvation Army shines, especially at Christmastime?
Billie Lawson: It would be the humbleness. There’s such humility. There’s such grace. I have had the pleasure of starting one of the food banks in the Delta, Colorado, area with some officers in the past. And I worked that food service, the service extension unit. And I got working in the stores and working in the service extension units and volunteering my time to help with the toy collections and the kettle ringing and the coat drives and the food drives and just everything that The Salvation Army can do to collect, to help, like the logos, “The needs go on, when the bell quits ringing, the needs go on,” they do. And I get to see that.
And at Christmastime especially, I think I relate to the heartbroken parent that doesn’t have the things for their children and then I get to hand them those toys if I’m participating in that program and the tears and the gratitude. And I remember everything they’re feeling because I was there and then they want to thank me and they want to hug me and they want to love me. And I’m just a vessel for The Salvation Army, and I remind them of that.
It’s an incredible experience around Christmas, the families, the toys, the food, the gratitude. And just like I said, it’s just that feeling of it came together. And then the after fact, because of God, it came together and it’s only because of him. And so I have given myself Matthew 25:40, which is, “Inasmuch as ye as you have done this for one of these, the least of my brethren, you have done it unto me.” And that Scripture will correlate with Proverbs 19:17, which will tell you that whoever is kind to the poor, lends to the Lord and they will be rewarded. And when I keep those two Scriptures in mind, I keep my step for Jesus and what I am doing, if it’s bad, it will hurt him and if it’s good, it will please him and it helps me in my walk to please the Lord. And you will truly, truly be rewarded in that.
Christin Thieme: What would you say to someone today who might be worried and wondering how they’re going to make it happen this Christmas?
Billie Lawson: Not to give up, to pray and not give up. And if your prayer isn’t answered in your time, please don’t give up. He is present and he is working to make the things happen that need to happen for you and your family. Don’t give up, reach out. If you have pride holding you back, if you have fear of judgment holding you back, if you have anything holding you back, go boldly, push through, allow God to lift you and move you. And if you can, find The Salvation Army because they will serve you and they will love you and they will help you and they won’t push you and they won’t make you feel needy or served, they will just love you and help you. So don’t give up. Never give up.
I will share personally, one year prior to coming to work for The Salvation Army was my fifth attempt to take my life. And I moved to Colorado and I sat in a mobile home for almost a year trying to find me because I lost me again. All the abuse that circled back around in my brain and Satan won and I let go and I was lost and I was being very medicated by doctors and diagnosed and labeled. And I thought, I went back to the doctor and sought help and they gave me more pills. And Satan attacked me and he convinced me I had no worth that even the doctors couldn’t fix me. The abuse was just what it was, and I didn’t have anything left.
And so I was going to go home and take my life and I had a shotgun that I was going to use. And I was only about two blocks from home when I heard God screaming in my head that he created me and that he’s already let me know who I am to him and that he sent his son from me and his son would’ve died and would’ve suffered everything he suffered just for me and that he loves me and I belong to him. And I went home and I told my partner, my husband, what I was going through and we disassembled the weapon and we got rid of it a piece at a time here and there so it could never be put back together. And we moved to Colorado, just start fresh.
And it took me about a year before I finally started getting out and walking and trying to push back to who I knew I was. And like I said, I saw that The Salvation Army had a part-time position available and I applied. And I didn’t qualify for it, I was overqualified. And then they had a manager spot open and I applied and didn’t hear anything. And five times I applied for this spot in Montrose and I finally got hired by Major Parker. And The Salvation Army saved my life. It’s really saved my life. I’ve had many opportunities to move on, more lucrative opportunities and I won’t go, I won’t leave. They’ll have to force me out.
Every day I get to do God’s work. Every day I get to serve someone who was, who is where I was, whether drug addicted, lost, I think I did it all in between there, just trying to find Billie. That I dabbled a lot and messed around a lot and now I do not and have not for many, many, 40 years or longer. And yeah, to see people where you once were and to know that there’s such hope and that you don’t have to stay there and to be able to work for an organization that allows you to counsel in God’s words and allows you to pray with your guests when they are down or just need prayer, to work for an organization that takes lists of people so we can do prayer for them, prayer requests, to have leadership that are pastors that just love and try to support and help you walk through those bad times.
I love The Salvation Army. I love the guests that support The Salvation Army. I love the guests that haven’t found The Salvation Army yet. I especially love the children that come in with the parents that are giving us their little things. I do believe that they are our future, and so I make sure that they know how much we appreciate their used toys and how much another child will appreciate their used toys. And it is the ministry of The Salvation Army that just captured my heart and healed my soul. And I will forever remember many, many people that I’ve worked with and under and many, many, many faces of those who came in crying and left with joy, who came in not knowing what they were going to do and left with everything that they needed, at least for that day or for a few days.
And that is my love for The Salvation Army, just what they do and what they do is so good and what they do is through God and for God. I believe we all get up in the morning, some days just don’t feel like it, but then we remember we’re going to go and do God’s work and we’re going to go and serve and it helps us throw those boots on and get back out there and do God’s work. That’s all I’m dedicated to doing is God’s work now because he found me. I found him, he was always there. I found him. I opened my heart. I let him in, and he has been everything he says he will be today, tomorrow, and nothing new under the sun.
Christin Thieme: Billie, thank you so much for sharing. Thank you for the work that you do on behalf of Salvation Army. You are part of that now for so many families, and I am so grateful for you just being willing to share and encourage all of us in this way today. So thank you.
Billie Lawson: You’re welcome. Please just don’t ever give up.
Additional resources:
- Join us this season to center your heart—and your children’s hearts—on the meaning of the season, the gift of love, given and received at Christmas. Simply sign up with your email to receive the free downloadable PDF right in your inbox today.
- Make a difference this Christmas and beyond. Give to the Caring Magazine red kettle here.
Listen and subscribe to the Do Gooders Podcast now.
Download this page as a PDF
